more vampiric questions. and then some

in which the press feeds off of fresh flesh.

Did you read the books before signing onto the movie.

no. just the script. that was bad enough.

Tell us about your audition.

i was depressed. been too drunk in london. a little scared and empty feeling. very low on cash. didn't want to do a teen movie. but catherine worked it. so i showed up. on my own airfare. depressed. kristen locked eyes, i was shocked. and that was it. the start.

tell us about the chemistry between you and kristen stewart.

well we really wanted to fuck each other but catherine only gave me the part if i promised not to break up her and that little kid she goes out with. and kristen is super competitive and frankly, pretty smart, doesn't want to loose the edge. and even if we did fuck it wouldn't last very long, so since we both understand that, frankly, the chemistry between is very very strained. in new moon, my favorite book, i am hardly in it... in fact, that is one of the reasons i love it... (the studio is also very happy every time i say new moon is my favorite, because they are concerned that new moon wont make money if edward is hardly in it.)

how could i not love any movie defined by my absence. this seems to be the most honest and truthful moment in the books, edward's rejection and absence from bella. it may be one of the arts of the entire saga, that absence is the ticket seller.



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